Souzy Theophilopoulos 4 minute read Updated on 10-30-2021
Table of contents
Making wedding vows is a long-time tradition of marriage dating back to medieval times. In your part of the world, specific wedding vows are a requirement for your marriage to be considered legal. These are usually spoken first to get the "official stuff" out of the way, and the modern approach is to then make your own personal vows. Our focus is on your personal vows.
Although the words of official vows cannot be changed, your personal vows can be anything you want! This means that the structure and content of personal vows can vary greatly. The key to great vows is to include and balance the following aspects:
Express your emotions
Keep it personal, but don't be afraid to rely on the work of others to support your own words
Remember to balance these and consider moving between these elements. That way, you'll impress the audience (and your bride or groom!) by taking them on a rollercoaster of emotions.
Here's what we'll uncover
✓ How to get prepared for your vow writing journey
✓ Need-to-have inclusions and examples
✓ Elements that will make a great impression on your bride and audience
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How to write wedding vows
Sticking to one structure is a challenge because vows can be very personal. But, we start with the below structure in our Builder to create a foundation that we build upon.
Things you love
Promises and love
You may wish to move this structure around or start with some funny points and end with expressing your emotions. As long as you consider this structure, you'll create wonderful vows that breathe loving feelings (and maybe even a bit of fun) into the wedding ceremony.
Remember - there is nothing wrong with trying a different approach. Just make sure the length of your vows suits the style of your wedding!
Now, how would you cover these elements in your speech?
Getting ready to write your wedding vows
Aligning with your audience
Your vows are all about you and your bride, so aligning with your audience is not as critical as the reception speeches.
Though, if you plan on adding anything remotely controversial in your vows, we still recommend taking a moment to think about who is in the crowd. If you’re unsure in any way, consider a rewording.
Things you love
Hit the mark with your partner straight away by starting your vows with things you love about them. This is your opportunity to be sincere and leave no questions as to how much your partner means to you. Use a sentence or two, and consider the following ideas:
Amazing things about your bride or groom that make them "them", such as physical features, personality attributes, or things they say or do
The things that make your relationship special
How your partner has helped you in life
"With so much going on in those final weeks before your wedding, the last thing you want to do is to have to think and write creatively. That’s why we’ve put together tools to eliminate much of the know-how, stress, time, and effort need to create your vows."
To add some unexpected relief from the emotion, and to keep your vows interesting and connecting with your audience, add something funny! This could be something quirky about your partner, something strange about you and how that affects the relationship, or even something "a bit different" that you and your partner are into.
If you wish to add a quick reprieve from the emotional stuff, add a sentence of something funny or quirky. You can add more, but remember that the more you include, the more you'll distract people from your promises and messages of love.
Promises and love
A vow is not a vow without a promise! Tell your groom or bride what you promise for the future.
The traditional vows promise being there is sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better and for worse. Think about what it is you truly promise to your partner. Perhaps you have an ambitious partner and you promise always to support them. You might be very different from your partner but complement them perfectly, and you promise to always be that person. Or, you might promise to never hog the bedsheets! Use a sentence or two to make your promises, and finish your vows by telling your partner that you love them.
Create vows using more examples like this
When the moment comes – your delivery
Your efforts to write your wedding vows are not to just “get it done”, but to make your vows enjoyable, memorable, and one that has people approaching you to sing their praises for your vows. After all, you will have put in a lot of effort! There is something special about making an impact on your audience when you thought your sole job was just to “get through it”.
Using professional public speaking techniques is an incredibly powerful way to make a huge impact on your bride and the crowd, particularly when telling funny stories or during emotional points in your speech. Examples include:
Talking at a slower rate and lower pitch during the emotional parts
Pausing before giving the punchline
Talking loud at an exciting moment
Give these some thought as you write your wedding vows. Or, when you’ve finished your vows, read it over and explore where you can add these techniques so that you get the most out of your speech. Our professional speechwriters consider these techniques as critical as the words they apply to, which is why they are built into all of our Builder, Shop, and Pro Support content.
And finally – remember to rehearse. The more you develop your vowsand rehearse, the greater the impression you will make. Confidence through well-written vows is great, but using your voice and your body effectively only comes through practice.
For more information, check out our Public Speaking Resources.
That was the final thing you needed to learn in order to perfect your wedding vows. Before we end, let’s summarize.
Include all of the important elements – things you love, something funny, and promises and love
Vows are serious, but don’t be afraid to have some fun!
Boost the love-filled spirit of the occasion with a heartfelt comment about the bride or couple
Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!
Looking to create your vows?
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✓ Variety of sections and templates
No fuss. No delays. Make your vow writing journey easy. Get ready-to-go wedding vow templates written by our team of speechwriters, complete with suggestions on adding your personal touch.
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